Not gay
by SexySiri
Summary: Remus knows that Sirius is gay, He'd practically admitted it that day on the platform, he was just in denial and so sleeping around... And Remus was determined to get his friend to admit why he was in denial. SLASH, SBOC... This is not SBRL slash


All but the plot belongs to JK.

Please review.

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'Sirius mate!' Sirius spun around at the sound of his name, James was running along the platform towards him with Remus and Peter in tow. _'When did James get so hot?' _Sirius thought _'Wait, i didn't mean hot, that would be thick, I meant...I meant.'_ but he had no more time to think about it as James reached him gave him a quick hug and dragged him onto the train. Sirius didn't have another chance to think about James until the train had set off and Prongs had disappeared into the other carriges in search of Lily. _'I definately didn't mean hot, I meant tanned and tall, and he's done something to his hair, i wonder what it would be like to run my hands through that hair...' _Oh god he was doing it again, Sirius shook his head violently to abolish all thoughts of James. Remus looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. 'Penny for your thoughts.' he said, Sirius looked at him confused, 'It's a muggle saying, means what are you thinking?.'

'Why don't they just say 'what are you thinking'?'

'Because Padfoot my friend, not everyone is as blunt as you are, anyway, what were you thinking?'

'Nothing,' Sirius started but then thought that if anyone would help him figure these thoughts out it would be Moony, plus he wouldn't laugh at him. Checking to make sure Peter was still asleep and that the door was shut he turned back to Moony. 'When I saw James on the platform, my first thought was, when did he get so hot? but i don't like him that way, god no.' Moony had to understand he wasn't like that, James was just a friend.

'Right, have you ever felt like that about Prongs before, or anyone else?'

'No! I did find myself looking at somebody's ass in diagon alley last friday though.'

'who's?'

'Don't know.'

'Male or Female?'

'Does it matter?'

'Yes!'

'Male.'

'oh' Remus smiled slightly, then he looked Sirius in the eye and said, 'You're Gay. But it could also just be a phase that a lot of teenagers go through and hormones are kicking in so your noticing men more. Do you feel as if you want to spend the rest of your life with Prongs or just that he's cute?'

'Just that he's cute.'

'There you go then, you don't love him.'

'Thanks Moony, it sort of makes sense now, I guess...Don't tell anyone will you?'

'It's nothing to be ashamed of, but no, of course i wont tell.'

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**TWO YEARS LATER: 5th year**

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Sirius Black (more commonly known as the hogwarts stud) crept through the portrait hole at three in the morning to be greeted by a glaring Remus. 'Who was it this time?' he asked, 'Do you even know? And were they male or female?' It was at times like this that Sirius regretted talking to Remus about his sexuality.

'Emma Johnson, Hufflepuff, Female. ' He didn't know why Remus bothered asking the last question, they were always female. It wasn't that he had stopped thinking of men, it was just that he didn't want anyone to know, so by sleeping around, with girls, no-one could ever accuse him of being gay. well no-one but Rem anyway, 'Why are you doing this?' Remus asked.

'Doing what?' he knew damn well what of course but really didn't want to admit it.

'Hiding it .' Remus said, he didn't bother saying what was being hidden he knew Sirius would understand him

'I'm not!' don't be too defensive Sirius told himself 'You said it was likely to be just a phase, which it obviously was!'

'Stop lying!'

'Why do you care so much!' Sirius was practically screaming by now. 'Unless...'

'No! God no!' answered Remus, Sirius was sure he wasn't lying, Remmie wasn't gay... _'Pity really... Stop! Stop Sirius! He's your friend, no more thoughts like that!! God i'm going mad' _Sirius' thoughts were getting a little too strange for him now. 'I'm going to bed.' When Remus looked like he was about to say something Sirius cut across 'No Remmie! Even if I was gay, which i'm not, it would be none of your business anyway. So piss off!'

'Sirius you can't change who you are!'

'WATCH ME!' and with that Sirius stormed up the stairs to their dorm room.

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James was confused, something had happened between Sirius and Remus but he couldn't figure it out. Remmie was obviously angry at Sirius for something but was still trying to talk to him whilst Siri was flat out avoiding Remus. James was sat on his bed in the dorm room, Remus was reading on the bed opposite and Peter was asleep in his bed, No one knew where Sirius was. James pulled out the map, Turning to Remus he said 'Siri's in the Astrology tower, alone... Please sort whatever's bothering you two out.' Remmie gave a slight nod and went to the tower.

Sirius was sat on the floor with a bottle of firewhisky. 'Hey.' said Remus softly. Sirius just gave him the famous Black look. 'Pads, we have to talk about this.' Sirius grunted so Remus took this as a cue to continue. 'I don't understand why you're so against the thought of being gay.'

'You don't? It's dirty, It's gross, It's just wrong!!' Sirius burst out.

'And who told you that? your mum? I thought we'd agreed that everything that came out of that women's mouth was pure garbage.'

'It is?' asked Sirius

'Yes!'

'I just... I don't want to lose you, or James...'

'You wont. Now please stop screwing any random girl who happens to walk past.'

'I'll think about it!' Said Sirius with a smirk then took a large swig of firewhisky.

'You know McGonagall will kill you if she thinks you've been drinking on school property.' Said Remus.

'Bite me.' muttered Sirius then immediately winced 'Oh shit Rem i'm sorry it's just an expression I...' He trailed of when Remus cut across telling him it was fine. Remus took the bottle off him and took a swig. 'Oh Remmie you drunk!' laughed Sirius giving his friend a hug.

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James and Remus turned the corner and saw Sirius talking to a seventh year Gryffindor who they recognised to be Jake Brown. They continued watching as Sirius leant towards the older boy slightly and raised an eyebrow flirtatiously, that was all it took and Jake grabbed him, shoved him against the wall and was kissing him as though his life depended on it. James gasped causing Remus to look at him 'Are you ok? I know it's a bit of a shock but if he's happy isn't that a good thing?'

'Of course I'm fine that he's gay I just can't belive he didn't tell me! wait, you knew?!'

'I guessed.' Remus lied. Sirius stopped devouring the older boy, whispered something in his ear and then turned and walked down the corridor but upon seeing James and Remus he froze. 'Hello _Siri_!' said James in a nauseatingly pleasant voice.

'Prongs I... I mean I'm... I...'

'Yes?' asked James in his sing song voice.

'I'm gay.' burst out Sirius

'Really? No way! I'd never have guessed, even with you practically eating Jakey over there!'

'I was gonna tell you I just...'

James let Sirius stew for a bit before bursting out with 'Pads I don't care!'

'You don't?'

'No'

'Oh' Remus gave Sirius the 'told you so' face.

'So Jake...?' asked James as they walked down the corridor arm in arm.

'He's so hot!' grinned Sirius 'And he actually likes me!'

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